work, rest, play

Again, I wrote this awhile ago (last year).. just updating it now (two months ago)...now posting it lol

I'm not one to have secrets but I do choose who to tell and who not to tell. (ps I'm writing this on my iPhone btw lol) why I'm saying this at this point right now after starting a blog is that I do feel guilty with certains that I share and not share.

The last two or three weeks has been crazy for me. The 'JOE' store was opened for the first time and I was scheduled on lots of shifts and on top of that I had all these other shifts with the pub. I had to drop most of them. Trying to juggle between the two was very difficult.
I keep trying to please everyone and every employer. Running around doing everything as best as I could. The first few days wasn't too bad but then I started to feel the tiredness, the exhaustion of blogging, having me time or even time to breathe. it's not the stress, it's the physical exhaustion. I collapsed once when I got home one day, my body was just not working with me. That's when I knew I was just pushing myself too hard and I needed to stop. What better way to do it when my new employer decided to send me to NYC and Montreal before Xmas which meant that I have to quit my other two jobs.

All my working life I have worked in an office, nothing seemed to be physically strained.. maybe my mind going all loopy and stuff but nothing that I can't handle.
I wanted to work on weekends, keep myself busy instead of going out and spending money or drinking til I throw up. But always getting rejected from clothing stores or bar jobs.. cuz clearly I don't have any experience in those areas. Anyone who looks at my resume would think im insane for applying such position of retail and hospitality. So, when I got to Canada, I just wanted to do EVERYTHING that I wanted to do for so long.
Now, I have a taste of all three.. and working 7 days a week. I must say...it's so tiring.. I don't know how some people do it. I mean if you're working in one industry, it might  be ok. For example, if you only work in the hospitality - you get to sleep in, cuz your job won't start til at least 11am. Which is doable before I had the other two jobs!!!!

I'm writing this almost two months since I started the first line. Since then I have gone to NYC, Montreal for work. And Regina for christmas and new years.

New York

Montreal

Regina

I had a taste of travelling for work even if it was just for training. Getting up and coming home (hotel room) wasn't all that exciting. You really don't have much time to do anything else (sight seeing etc) cuz by the time you're allowed to go home, it's dark and all you want to do is eat and go to bed.
Luckily I was with other work mates training at the same time so we often have dinner together. I can just imagine when i go on business trips alone.. I'll probably be working in my hotel room ordering room service! lol

I'm still working 7 days a week - currently holding my hostess job at the irish pub.. and continuing to be scheduled for 4 shifts a week.. yes, four! but I have dropped the week nights and only working on sats and suns.
It is tiring and I'm not sure why I'm still there. It's not like I need the money. I just feel bad if i leave now cuz they don't really have any one else to replace me yet. But then I guess if I tell them that I want to leave they probably start looking for someone. I'm not sure. Perhaps secretly I want to keep myself busy from being insane. LOL

Wow, I'm starting to think whether I will ever post this up! lol it is now 301Jan2012. So much has changed since then.
I finally quit the pub job. Now I hold one Canadian job and One Australian job (not for much longer). I felt really bad for leaving but they were on the same wave length as me. I was just not available enough for them. All I did was request for leave. I was on leave more than I was actually working.

I feel so much happier today. Especially with the snow. Everything is white now in Toronto. It's so pretty.
I went grocery shopping today (boring I know) as soon as I walked out of my building I realised it was snowing. You see, my office does not have windows even though we're on the 27th floor. It's a temp office. So every time I go outside, I get a shock of the weather.

I was walking in the snow with a huge smile on my face.. smiling at everyone. Most people just have their heads down one foot in front of the other. For me I had my head high and a huge grin! lol smiling at anyone who would look at me. hahahahahaa
I even walked around with my mouth opened eating the fallen snow. LOL! and laughing to myself of course. Seriously, I must have looked like a crazy woman! hahahaha
When I got home, I made dinner/lunch for work and made a very difficult phone call.
It was one of those 'it's not you, it's me' conversation hahaha

i will learn chinese

OMG. Yes, it's been over a month since my last entry. This was written on the 29Nov2011

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I've been off tracked for a week now, sorry. I guess I had to get some stuff of my chest. That's the whole point of having a blog right? lol

Anyway, so I want to continue about my experience in China. After meeting my family and hanging out in rural China for about 5 days. I'm sorry to say but after a few days it was getting tiring. Only because I don't know how to speak the language, so I'm just sitting there listening to everything and not understanding anything. Unless of course I stay close to the translator. My parents actually hired (well, offered his sister's in law to come along to translate and he paid for her holiday). It's quite funny though, cuz once my dad had loads of those rice wine, he starts to speak Chinese fluently. LOL. It was very entertaining.

Here's another entry;
140111 9:36pm


"Hello again! Nothing to much to report today really. All I did today was waking up, ate breakfast, watched some thai movie in chinese, napped, ate dinner, listen to my dad talk chinese, listened to old people having a yarn and now I'm in bed. HAHA! 
Highlights: spoke more Cambodian about myself to our translator who then described my life and my doing from now and moving forward - to my relatives so at least now they know a little more about me. 
They also guessed my age - which of course everyone has been guessing in my early twenties hehee. They're all shocked! when they find out that i'm 30! haha! 
I spoke a little more to my relative's wife with the baby. I'm inpired by their spirit. She lives in Chongqing which is in the middle of China 3 hrs by plane from here. She brought her baby boy with her who is 5 months old. When she returns to Chongqing she will leave her baby here for her mother to look after (mother in law actually) until when he is ready for school! but when I asked her whether she will miss him, she said that she wants to bring him back next new year (chinese new year). She's leaving him here because she wants to help her husband at work. 


The determination these people have is very inspiring. I don't think I would be able to be so far away from my new born. At least in Sydney if your parents takes care of your child, when you come home from work, you get to see, feel and play with your child. But then again, what would I know right? I don't have a child. LOL

I'm glad I came at least now I know where & seen the town my grandfather grew up until he was 18 years old and meeting all my relo's. Too bad I couldn't speak much to the younger relo's but next time I come here I will be determine to learn Chinese so I can talk to them and get to know them more. 
When I have kids, I will definitely bring them here and my siblings. 


Tomorrow we will go to Guangzhou East to get an overnight train to Beijing where I will be staying with my friend Katie who lives in Beijing. My family will stay at the holiday inn. This will be another interesting journey."

I left China feeling angry and confused. After leaving my relatives in the South of China, and heading off to Beijing ourselves, then leaving Beijing - all very interesting but annoying at the same time. There's so many people in China and all the stereotypes about Chinese people it's all true. They are rude, loud, corrupted, spit on the road or in front of you in the streets, yell at you for no reason (so you think), chase after you if you don't buy what you touch then proceed to swear at you when you don't buy it cuz they chased you 50m in the markets even though you said no in the first place, no sense of social surroundings or etiquette and absolutely aggressive!!!!! if you think Cabramatta is bad, wait til you get yourself to China lol I wish you all the luck!

My dad is old school. He thinks that just turning up to an airport or train and bus station and being able to get on and continue his journey was normal. This wasn't the case. Katie checked all the schedule for me but we weren't able to purchase tickets online so we had to get there and buy it ourselves. 

After being robbed of promises with lies, we finally got onto a train that took us to Beijing 24hrs later. To talk about this day is a stressful thing for me. It's just that, it makes me so angry. I made so many mistakes and I wish I can do something about it for my parents. And other family members.
I find that making mistakes and learning from it is such a powerful thing anyone possess. It's hard to admit to those mistakes most times and when you do, it's so exhilarating. So, i took those challenges to my heart. And promised myself not to make anymore mistakes or big mistakes. Of course, it's only human nature and it only made me stronger! cuz goddamnit, I made a lot more mistakes! Getting lost in a foreign city is top of the list but also fun! haha